Can music be a salvation to the soul?

•It has soothing power but there’s one gotcha

Take 56 men and 67 women mostly over age 50. Add a barber showing photographs of every head he’s had the pleasure to know. And put the catchy tune and lyrics of Paul McCartney’s “Penny Lane” in their ears and in their eyes –, and what do you get? The Men of Independence (Ohio) and the Greater Cleveland (women’s) Chorus singing “A Beatles Celebration” -- barber-shop style recently at a high school in northeast Ohio. [1]

In the sweet, rich four-part harmony of barbershop – unaccompanied by instruments – the lead sings the melody, the tenor harmonizes above the melody, the bass sings low harmonizing notes, and the baritone completes the chord. These two groups winnowed the sonic inventiveness of the Beatles band from 1960 to 1970 and turned 11 independent songs and a medley of 11 more songs into a-cappella sweetness. The rich sounds ran from the playful (“Oh-La-Di” 1968):

Desmond takes a trolley to the jeweler’s store

Buys a twenty carat golden ring (Golden ring?)

Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door

And as he gives it to her, she begins to sing (Sing)

And then the fest ran onto the somber (“The Long and Winding Road” 1970) and the pensive (“Yesterday” 1965):

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Now it looks as though they’re here to stay.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be.

There’s a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Out in the hallway, after the performance, a male barbershopper momentarily stood beside the president of the women’s chorus. I overheard their conversation. I believe it spoke for the entire audience as the music of the evening had increased people’s happiness, had reduced their stress, and in a small way had given them hope and optimism.

Vicki: “Putting us [men and women] together was so good.”

Scott: “Eight part harmony!”

Vicki: “Awesome.”

Scott: “Keep stacking it up!”

• Can music sooth the soul?

The soothing power of music has long been recognized. A psychotherapist put it this way:

Music is often overlooked as a therapeutic intervention: singing, listening, and creating music of any kind will provide an immediate biological and psychological benefit for everyone. In fact, music can be a salvation and antidote to most psychological challenges: that’s why people sing in the shower and while driving the car, or simply listen to music that’s inspiring and distracting from emotional upset. [2]

In the Bible, King Saul had blatantly disobeyed the command of the Lord through the prophet Samuel (1 Sam 15). Saul had chosen to keep valuable animals from the spoils of war for himself but to offer some of them as sacrifices to the Lord. The prophet termed this to be what it is -- wickedness -- and explained in verses 22-23 (all quotations are from NLT):

      ²² “What is more pleasing to the Lord:

            your burnt offerings and sacrifices

            or your obedience to his voice?

      Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,

            and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

      ²³ Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft,

            and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols.

      So because you have rejected the command of the Lord,

            he has rejected you as king.”

As a result, Saul became tormented with depression and fear (1 Sam 16:14). Scripture regards this outcome as divine punishment for living in a lifestyle of rebellion against God. The spirit causing such depression and fear “came from God.” Rather than dealing with the basic issue of rebellion and its consequences, some of the king’s advisers came up with an idea and told Saul, “Let’s find a good musician to play the harp whenever the tormenting spirit troubles you. He will play soothing music, and you will soon be well again.” “All right,” Saul agreed. “Find me someone who plays well, and bring him here.”

An adviser reported, “One of Jesse’s sons from Bethlehem is a talented harp player. Not only that—he is a brave warrior, a man of war, and has good judgment. He is also a fine-looking young man, and the Lord is with him.” “Conscript him for royal service,” the king ordered. Both King Saul and his son Prince Jonathan were thrilled with David and David took over the task of being king’s armor bearer. Whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Depression and fear would leave Saul and he would feel better (1 Sam 16). David became successful with all positions assigned to him by Saul (1 Sam 17).

• Can music save the soul?

In the meantime the Philistines waged war against Israel. A Philistine giant, Goliath, taunted the Israelites to send out a single man to engage him personally. If he were defeated, the Philistine army would all surrender. But no Israelite would venture to engage the giant except one young man: David, the shepherd. After David single-handed killed Goliath, the Israelite army defeated the Philistine army. As the victorious Israelite army returned, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals and sang this song:

      Saul has killed his thousands,

            and David his ten thousands!”

It was simple Hebrew poetry. There was one line of verse and the second line added punch to the first line. But the word order made King Saul extremely angry. He said, “What is this?! They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next thing you know, they’ll be making him their king!” From that point on, Saul was filled with jealousy and kept a close eye on David. The very next day a tormenting spirit overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand and, suddenly, he hurled it at David intending to kill him. This happened twice, with David narrowly escaping each time. Fortunately, David then got a remote assignment in the army, far away from the palace (1 Sam 18).

Can music sooth the soul? Yes, resoundly yes. But can music be a salvation to the soul? No, resoundly no. There can be physical causes of depression and fear. But there can be spiritual cause as well: living in disobedience to moral law, living in jealousy of others, uncontrolled anger that drives a person to commit murder or hate. Music cannot save us from such sins or from any sins for that matter. Who or what can?

The New Testament name-sake of King Saul, Saul of Tarsus, who later became St. Paul the Apostle gives us the answer:

¹³ In my insolence, I persecuted Christ’s people. . . . ¹⁵ This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. ¹⁶ But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. (1 Tim 1:13-16 NLT).

King Saul of old could not be soothed. He needed turning from sin, forgiveness of sin and cleansing from sin. Saul of Tarsus found the answer: the saving power of Christ Jesus the Lord.

[1] “A Beatles Celebration,” a musical collaboration between The Men of Independence and The Greater Cleveland [women’s] Chorus plus quartets and guest performers, Gary Lewis and Jean Flinn, directors, April 25, 2015, Solon High School, Solon, Oho.

[2] Mark Sichel, “Music Soothes the Soul; music can be a salvation and antidote to most psychological challenges” in the blog “The Therapist Is In,” Psychology Today, July 15, 2008.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-therapist-is-in/200807/music-soothes-the-soul

Pics: the singing groups in footnote one plus student art that was on display that evening in a nearby hallway.

"Time and chance happen to everyone"

•What are you betting your life on?

In one of their classic slapstick shorts “Dutiful but Dumb” (1941), the Three Stooges wonderfully illustrate a human dilemma. The boys are Click, Clack, and Cluck – photographers working for a glossy journal, Whack; the Illustrated Magazine (“If it’s good picture, it’s out of Whack”).

Moe and Larry bungle getting a photo of a movie star and his bride-to-be in their hotel room. But, through a hole in the center of the table in their room, Curly hides under large dinner platter. He emerges when the movie star removes the lid and snaps a photograph of the frightened couple holding each other and kissing. Curly then rushes the negative to Moe in a dark room for developing. A dialogue ensues:

Moe:    ”How long has it been in the soup, rock head?”

Curly pulls up his sleeve and looks at the time.

Moe:    “Hey, what’s the idea of three watches?”

Curly:  “That’s how I tell time. This one runs ten minutes slow every two hours; this runs twenty minutes fast every four hours; the one in the middle is broken; it stopped at 2:00.”

Moe:    “How do you tell the time?”

Curly:  “I take the ten minutes on this one and subtract it from the twenty minutes on that one, then I divide by two in the middle.”

Disgusted, Moe asks, “What time is it now?”

Curly pulls out an oversized pocket watch and proudly announces, “Ten minutes to four.”

After Moe bongs Curly with the pocket watch, Larry emerges from behind the curtains. He looks in the “soup” and exclaims with great alarm, “I can’t find the negative!”

Moe:    “How about the positive?”

Curly:  “I’m positive about the negative, but I’m a little negative about the positive.”

Moe:    “Oh, negative, eh?”

Curly:  “No, I’m positive the negative is in the developer.”

Moe:    “Your brains need developin’!”

• Time and Chance Happen

In the biblical book of Ecclesiastes the three watches that don’t work and the oversized pocket watch that does work are called “time” or, if we wanted to paraphrase it “uncertain times.” And being positive about the negative in our lives and a little negative about the positive is termed “chance” or, if we wanted to use a paraphrase “unpredictable events.”

In chapter 9, the Thinker observes that life just doesn’t always happen the way we had expected and offers us this poem:

¹¹I also saw something else here on earth:

The fastest runner does not always win the race,

      the strongest soldier does not always win the battle,

the wisest does not always have food,

      the smartest does not always become wealthy,

      and the talented one does not always receive praise.

Time and chance happen to everyone.

¹²No one knows what will happen next.

Like a fish caught in a net,

      or a bird caught in a trap,

people are trapped by evil

      when it suddenly falls on them

In “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)” from the 1980 album Double Fantasy, John Lennon sang to his small son:

Before you cross the street,

Take my hand.

Life is just what happens to you,

While you’re busy making other plans.

Earlier in the song Lennon told his son, “Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer.” Earlier in chapter 9 of Ecclesiastes, the Thinker recognized that the hand of God was at work in the affairs of humanity (verse 1). Both are viewing life not from the perspective of God who sees the end from the beginning, but from the vantage point of life as we live it. Using the words of the Thinker, how can we deal with time (that is, with the uncertain seasons of life) and chance (with unpredictable events that happen while we’re busy making other plans)?

• The Gospel’s Answer to Time and Chance

The Gospel answers this way. Even in the most trying circumstances such as not knowing where your next meal is coming from (Matthew 6:25-33), the Lord instructs us:

³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The core issue is not the mind and knowledge: what am I going to do? who can I enlist to help me? The primary human issue is love and worship. Whom do I most love? Whom do I most desire? Whom do I worship? To function humanly the supreme object of worship must be our maker and savior – the one perfect in beauty, goodness, justice, and righteousness, God.

God’s kingdom is God’s rule over humanity through his Messiah (“Christ” in Greek), the Lord Jesus. God’s righteousness is the morally upright way to do things in conformity to God’s holy nature. When our heart is focused on God the Creator and Provider, we will then trust in his provision and providence and cast off our anxieties of uncertain times and unpredictable events. We will make honorable plans and live one day at a time. The worries of the past will remain in the past. The worries of tomorrow will stay in tomorrow. We will pray “Give us today our daily bread” and live today with God’s provisions.

• Time and Chance in the Life of Moses

How does such living work out in practice? Consider Moses, a Hebrew (Exodus chapters 1-4). By providence a daughter of Pharaoh, King of Egypt, adopted him as a baby. He grew up with learning and privilege. Around age 40, when he saw an Egyptian unmercifully beating a Hebrew, he killed the oppressor and buried his body in the sand. The next day, realizing that his deed had become known to the Egyptians, he fled eastward to safety in the Midian desert. He was kind to some daughters of the priest of Midian who reported it to their father. The father had the man summoned and a friendship ensued. Moses ended up marrying one of the priest’s daughters, had two sons, and took up the occupation of shepherd. In the meantime, back in Egypt, Egyptian officials had made the Hebrews into slaves and had started to cruelly oppress them. Their desperate cries for rescue rose up to God.

One day when Moses was approximately age 80 (still having the vigor of middle age), he led his flock of sheep far out into the desert and came to Mount Sinai. He came across a bush that was engulfed in flames but didn’t burn up. “This is amazing,” Moses said to himself. “Why isn’t that bush burning up? I’ve got to go and take a look.” As Moses stepped closer with his shepherd’s staff in hand, the Lord God called to him from the middle of the bush, “Moses! Moses!” “Here I am!” Moses replied.  “Do not come any closer,” the Lord God warned. “Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground. I am the God of your father—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.”

Out of fear Moses covered his face. The Lord God continued to speak, “I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress because of their harsh slave drivers. Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt to a new land flowing with milk and honey.” (Exodus 3:1-10)

Moses mounted a series of objections. His first three protests help us see how to deal with the uncertainties of life. Protest #1: “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” God’s answer: “I will be with you.” Despite his objections, Moses made God his supreme love and trust and God was there with him as he went back to Egypt and faced a hostile Pharaoh and all his officials – who had no intention of releasing the slave-nation of Hebrews.

Protest #2: Moses objected, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?” God’s answer: “I am who I am. . . . Tell them, I AM has sent me . . . Tell them, YAHWEH has sent me. . .” (Exodus 3:13-15). This is a key passage of Scripture and we will do well to pause here for a while. What does it mean that God is “I am who I am”? Pastor-scholar John Piper finds seven implications [1].

(1) God exists. “I am, I exist, I have being.” Whether we like or not, whether we acknowledge or not, God is there. (2) No reality exists behind God. “I am who I am” is saying that God’s personality and power are owing solely to himself and to no other. (3) God’s nature does not change. “I am who I am,” says the Lord, and, therefore, no forces outside of God can determine who he is. We humans have unforeseen circumstances and often have weak resolution in the face of changing circumstances, but not God.

(4) God is an inexhaustible source of energy. If he is the “I AM” supreme over all outside beings and forces, then he by implication is the creator of all matter, energy, space and time. As Isaiah 40:28 says, “Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary.” (5) God says who he is and not us. Thus, God has the exclusive knowledge to communicate the knowledge of who he is. We humans are outside of God and humbly dependent on him. He is there and he is not silent. We have no right to invent ideas of God. He has the exclusive right to communicate them to us. (6) We must conform to God and not he to us. He is the I AM and not us. We must be guided by the Self-Existent One and not suppose that we the dependent ones have the right to impose our will upon him.

There is one more critical implication of the “I AM” nature of God:

. . .this infinite, absolute, self-determining God has drawn near to us in Jesus Christ. In John 8:56-58 Jesus is answering the criticism of the Jewish leaders. He says, “Your father Abraham rejoiced that he was to see my day; he saw it and was glad.” The Jews then said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?” Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly! I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.”

Could Jesus have taken any more exalted words upon his lips? When Jesus said, “Before Abraham was, I AM,” he took up all the majestic truth of the name of God, wrapped it in the humility of servanthood, offered himself to atone for all our rebellion, and made a way for us to see the glory of God without fear. [2]

The “I AM” nature of God is shared by God the Father, Jesus who is God the Son, and by the Holy Spirit of God. Since the coming of Christ, we can only come to the Father through the Son. There is no other way. And coming to God, we come to the One who eternally is and cannot not exist. To the One who is self-existent, who will always be there. To the One who is completely dependable because his nature does not change. To the inexhaustible source of energy, who neither slumbers nor sleeps. To the One who makes himself known and to the One with whom we have to deal with. Finally, plagued by evil in ourselves, thank God – we come to God through Christ who died for our sins and rose triumphantly over sin and death.

How can we deal with uncertain seasons and unforeseen circumstances? By trusting in God - who has such almighty strength and absolute firmness of character that the ancient psalmist exclaims, "The Lord is my rock and my fortress" (Psalm 18:2).

There is one more objection that Moses makes. Protest #3: Moses said, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?” God's answer: Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?” “A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied. “Throw it down on the ground,” the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back. Then the Lord told him, “Reach out and grab its tail.” So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand. “Perform this sign,” the Lord told him. “Then they will believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—really has appeared to you.” (Exodus 4:1-5 NLT)

What is the significance of the shepherd’s staff for Moses? In a TED talk, Rick Warren proposed the answer [3]:

This staff represented three things about Moses’ life. First, it represented his identity. He was a shepherd. It’s the symbol of his own occupation: "I am a shepherd." It’s a symbol of his identity, his career, his job. Second, it’s a symbol of not only his identity; it’s a symbol of his income, because all of his assets are tied up in sheep. In those days nobody had bank accounts, or American Express cards, or hedge funds. Your assets are tied up in your flocks. So it’s a symbol of his identity, and it’s a symbol of his income. And the third thing: it’s a symbol of his influence. What do you do with a shepherd’s staff? Well, you know, you move sheep from point A to point B with it, by hook or by crook. You pull them or you poke them, one or the other. So, He’s saying, “You’re going to lay down your identity. What’s in your hand? You’ve got identity; you’ve got income; you’ve got influence. What’s in your hand?” And He’s saying, “If you lay it down, I’ll make it come alive. I’ll do some things you could never imagine possible.”

Finally, how do you deal with “time and chance”? You take what’s in your hand (including your identity, your income, and your influence) and you use it for the honor of God and the good of humanity.Anxiety recedes as God and others come into sight and significance.

[1] John Piper, “I Am Who I Am,” sermon on Exodus 3:13-15, September 16, 1984

by John Piper, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/i-am-who-i-am

[2] Ibid.

[3] Here I have benefitted from listening to the TED Talk by Rick Warren, “A life of purpose” filmed February 2006. https://www.ted.com/talks/rick_warren_on_a_life_of_purpose/transcript?language=en

Pics: Three items on public display at Lakeland Gallery, Willoughby, Ohio: Ian Argo, “Forgotten” (photography); Josh Herbert, “Pirate’s Alley” (photography); and Hap Howle, “Fairport Harbor Lighthouse” (painting).

Easter - the greatest bridge in the world

• Where are you headed? Frankly, you will never think your way to God. But it's not for the reason you might suppose.

On 5/16/2011 David Brooks began his New York Times column: “The story of evolution, we have been told, is the story of the survival of the fittest. The strong eat the weak. The creatures that adapt to the environment pass on their selfish genes. Those that do not become extinct.” Is this, in fact, how we find reality in human life in days gone by and today? Is existence on earth just “Nature, red in tooth and claw” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson, “In Memoriam A.H.H.” 1849)? Biblically, we know that this is, at best, a half truth for humanity.

Man, in the first place, is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27) and, therefore, has the attribute of kindness. In all our human interactions, we all carry this image and likeness. And, in the second place, the first humans, by choice, rebelled against their Creator, plunging the human race into selfishness, alienation, shame, and cruelty (Genesis 3). “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Yes, we are also too aware of the human attribute of cruelty, since it is so often reported in the media and protested by the Old Testament prophets. “Thus says the Lord God: Enough, O princes of Israel! Put away violence and oppression, and execute justice and righteousness. Cease your evictions of my people, declares the Lord God.” (Ezekiel 45:9)

Is there a comprehensive solution? “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Christ – God in the flesh – came into the world to redeem us from our sin and cruelty and to restore us increasingly in the image of God, which includes kindness. At a public religious feast in Jerusalem, Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. This person does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life” (John 5:24).

Consider that word picture for a moment. On the one side of a divide there is sin, death, and divine judgment. On the other side there is eternal life. How do we sinners get across that chasm? “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). With firmly relying faith, trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Such a life of repentance from sin and genuine faith in Christ leads to changed life. The people transformed by Christ do tiny acts of kindness that are often only seen by the recipient and by God who sees in secret.

• On which bridge are you?

On display at an art gallery near my home is the pic above, “Bridge Well Traveled.” Thinking of the bridge as a metaphor, we could envision the bridge as the path of one human being’s cruelty against his fellow. It happens in subtleties every day as well as in mass acts of cruelty displaying man’s inhumanity to man. That is one bridge and it is well traveled. Let us be honest enough to admit that we, too, travel that bridge.

There is a second bridge. At Easter, we celebrate the enormous kindness of God through Christ by the Holy Spirit coming into the world to die for our sins as God’s Passover lamb (especially remembered on Good Friday) and to rise again on the third day as a triumph over his having suffered the penalty of sin for us and now as the life-giving Savior (especially remembered on Easter).

How do people react to the events of Good Friday and Easter? Frankly, you will never think your way to God. That is not how human beings are made. We may argue articulately with much reasoning, high sounding logic and great learning. But we are not primarily defined by what we think, know, or believe. It is deeper. At our core, we human beings are defined by what we love and worship. What is worship and love supremely for you? Is it self? Is it money? Is it sex? Is it family? Is it philosophy or self-help or morality or religion or education? Is it fame or fortune or adventure or a myriad of other allegiances? Is it an attempt to escape the hurts, pains, and sufferings of this world? I challenge you today, my friend. Who or what do you worship supremely? Who or what do you love supremely? Who except Jesus Christ has the words of eternal life? What can bridge the gap between human sinfulness and divine purity except the dying and rising of the Lord Jesus Christ?

There is, first, the well-travelled bridge of human cruelty. Then there is a second bridge. “Your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear” (Isaiah 59:2). That separation between humanity and God has been bridged by what Jesus Christ did for us. We could not do it ourselves. I invite you to believe in Christ and make your way across that bridge right now. If so, there will be a third bridge, the bridge of daily taking up your cross and following Christ in the way of kindness.

• On which bridge was Derwin Gray?

Growing up on the west side of San Antonio, Derwin Gray looked for a way out of an early life of poverty, violence, addiction, abuse, and chaos. And he found it [1]:

Football functioned as my savior. It gave me love: If I played well, I was loved by fans. It gave me an identity: I was Derwin, the football player. It gave me significance: I was somebody because I was a great player. And football gave me a mission. My mission was this: Derwin, you can go to college and make something of your life.

The grandmother who raised him was a Jehovah’s Witness and he played high school football under a Texas Hall of Fame coach. He went to college at the Mormon school, Brigham Young University, and was elected to their football’s All American Dream Team. There, in his freshman year, he met a javelin thrower on the track team and married her during his senior year on May 23, 1992. On April 25, 1993, he was drafted by the pro football’s Indianapolis Colts. His god – his supreme object of love and worship – had come through for him every step of the way.

Then he was confronted by linebacker Steve Grant. After practices and games, Grant would take a shower, dry off, wrap a towel around his waist, pick up his Bible, and ask those in the locker room, “Do you know Jesus?” Derwin Gray asked the veterans on the team about him. They said, “Don’t pay attention to him. That’s the Naked Preacher.” So Derwin would turn his back and ignore him.

One time at Derwin’s locker, the linebacker asked, “Rookie D. Gray, do you know Jesus?” Derwin answered, “I’m a good person.” He explained to Steve that he was one of the only men in his family who had not been to jail, who did not have a substance abuse problem, who had graduated from high school and college, and who did not have a child outside of marriage.

The Naked Preacher opened up his Bible and shared two verses: “And Jesus said to him, ’Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone’” (Mark 10:18) and “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). He explained that according to the Bible, only God is good; he is the standard of goodness and righteousness. Everyone else has sinned and falls short. This disturbed Derwin. The linebacker continued, “You can’t do anything to reach a perfect God. But Jesus has done everything for the perfect God to come down and reach you.”

Derwin sat in silence and needed time to think. Over the next five years, he watched Steve Grant live out the gospel. When teammates needed advice, they were at the Naked Preacher’s locker. Steve was involved in the greater Indianapolis community. Steve displayed Jesus in the way he loved his wife and children. Steve preached through his words and actions. In Derwin’s words:

As the Naked Preacher preached, God’s love crushed me. I had achieved the American dream, only to realize it could not empower me to love my wife or forgive my father. My fame and money could not erase my sin, shame, guilt, fear, and insecurity.

Then, between 1995 and 1997, I started getting injured on the field. When a professional athlete’s body starts to fail, he knows his career is coming to an end. I was letting my god—football—down. I was unable to serve it. My body was how I made my living. As it began to give out, I was stripped of everything I thought gave me meaning. I was left with nothing, even though I seemingly had everything.

On August 2, 1997, after lunch at training camp for my fifth season with the Indianapolis Colts, I walked to my dorm room at Anderson University in central Indiana. As I walked, I sensed an emptiness and brokenness like I had never experienced. When I got to my room, I immediately picked up the phone and called my wife. “I want to be more committed to you,” I said. “And I want to be committed to Jesus.”

At that moment I realized that God loved me. Not because I could run fast or jump high or because I was good, or even for what I could give him. I realized that as Jesus hung on the cross, I was forever loved and accepted by God. I realized my sin had been erased by Jesus’ blood. It was as if I could see for the first time. That day I got infected with a “virus” called grace [God’s kindness through Jesus Christ]. The symptoms are now full-blown.

[Pic: Andrew Debus, “Bridge Well Traveled” on public display at Lakeland Gallery, Kirtland, Ohio, April 6-20, 2015.]

[1] Derwin Gray, “Pro Football Was My God,” Christianity Today, March 2014, Vol. 58, No. 2, p 80. http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/march/pro-football-was-my-god-derwin-gray.html?start=2