What are you planting in your garden?

●Lessons learned from an African American funeral

How does the Gospel (There is one God who exists in three persons; the second person of God became the man Jesus, died for sinners, rose again to reconcile us to God, sent out the Word of God and the Holy Spirit) – how does the Gospel work itself out in real life? Today I attended an African American funeral, and saw and heard the principles of living that way on display. Let me share what I witnessed.

In inner city Winston Salem, North Carolina, Bobby Ray Crosby died at age 61 on January 30, 2016. He left behind a wife, a son, four daughters, eighteen grandchildren, ten great grandchildren; as well as a mother, two sisters and three brothers. The memorial service was today, February 6, 2016.

• “Don’t worry about living . . . Look at the birds in the sky. They never sow nor reap nor store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them” (Matt 6:25-26).

A different three-some (electric guitarist, organ-keyboardist, and lead singer) led us in gospel music at two points in the service. Before playing, the first male guitarist (an older man) said, “Bobby and I were in the hospital together. He got up from his room, went over to my bed, and said, ‘God is still in control.’ This is a celebration time!” Then the guitarist vigorously strummed his first chord.

The lead singer of the second group said, “They call me the black Loretta Lynn. My husband died four years ago. We were married 42 years. I thought, ‘I don’t know how I could make it on my own.’” Then she broke forth in robust song from the Canton Spirituals, “Glad I’ve got Jesus in my heart.”

 

• “How do you know what will happen even tomorrow? What, after all, is your life? It is like a puff of smoke visible for a little while and then dissolving into thin air” (James 4:14).

After the first gospel song, Bobby’s one brother and a minister friend of mine, gave a prayer of meditation. In part, he said, “For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away [1 Pet 1:24]. Are we ready to make this journey?”

Later one of Bobby’s daughters stood up and said, “It was sad to watch my father die. But God gave me a poem”:

      God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be.

      So He put His arms around you, and whispered, “Come to Me.”

      With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you fade away.

      Although we loved your dearly, we could not make you stay.

      A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.

      God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best.

 

• “If I do not have love, I am only a noisy gong or a crashing cymbal. . . . If I do not have love, I am nothing. . . . If I do not have love, I gain nothing” (1 Cor 13:1-3).

A younger man and neighbor stood up and said, “We moved to Clark Avenue right next door to Bobby. He welcomed us to his front porch and to his table. He was soft-spoken, but he always had something to say if you had the time to listen.”

Although Bobby served his country in the United States Navy, he was a peaceful man. The service ended with a sermon. The preacher hitch-hiked on this thought of peace and offered himself as the example. The preacher said, “When I participated in a Martin Luther King Day march, I brought my grandson along. The boy asked, ‘Why do you do this?’ And I said, ‘It’s because, if someone does you wrong, you don’t use violence to get back at him. You use peaceful non-violence to stand up for what’s right.”

• “Then the Lord God took dust from the ground and formed a man from it. . . . The Lord God put the man in the garden of Eden to care for it and work it. . . . [Later] the Lord God called to the man and said, “Where are you?” (Gen 2:7, 15; 3:9)

The preacher asked us to think more broadly. Bobby had responsibilities in life. (He worked for the United States Postal Service. He had a wife and children. He coached little league baseball and basketball.) In the Bible God created the first man and gave him the responsibility of caring for a garden and then gave him a wife and later on children. The preacher asked, “You, too, have responsibilities in life. What are you planting in your garden? Are you being a man not afraid to cry? Are you being a man who gets down on his knees and prays? Are you being a man that says no to drugs and drunkenness? Are you being a man who works at honest employment and not 'street hustle'? Are you being a man who communicates with and appreciates his wife? Are you being a man who shows his son how to live?”

Then he reminded us of the scene in Genesis chapter three. The first man and woman had disobeyed God and had become sinners. God made a sound in the garden to make them aware that he was there. The first human pair became afraid because of their sin. So they ran and hid. God, still desiring a relationship with them, called out, “Adam, where are you?” At just the right time in history, God made a way that sinful humans could have a true relationship with him. God the Father sent God the Son to become a human being, Jesus Christ. Jesus died for our sins and rose again to invite us to stop being God's enemies and to become God's people. Now the message goes forth, “Human being, where are you? Come. Be forgiven of sin. Receive spiritual power. Have a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit.”

My friend, what are you planting in your garden?

When we suffer the loss of someone close - part 2

• How do I get on with life?

On June 14, 2007, at age 87, after 63 years of marriage to evangelist Billy Graham,– Ruth Bell Graham died. As someone not close to the family or to Rev. Graham’s organization, it was just plain uplifting for me to read of the homespun humor, refreshing realism, and resolute dedication of Mrs. Graham. She had an amazing commitment to her Savior, her children, her grandchildren, her friends and relatives, the disadvantaged, her husband’s ministry, and the worldwide church of the living God.

Billy and Ruth graduated from college in Illinois together in June 1943 and were married on Friday, August 13, 1943, in North Carolina. An obituary continues the story:

Returning from their honeymoon, Ruth fell sick, but instead of calling to cancel his preaching engagement in Ohio to stay by her bedside, Billy checked Ruth into a hospital and kept the speaking appointment, sending her a telegram and a box of candy.

So began her adjustment to her husband’s intense calling to preach, which meant extended times of separation. Yet “I’d rather have Bill part-time,” she often said, “than anybody else full-time.” …

When Billy warmly recalled his meeting with the president of Mexico—”He even embraced me”—Ruth quickly added, “Oh, Bill, don’t be flattered. He did that to Castro, too.”

Yet she never tried to place herself in the spotlight: “That’s not my wad of gum.” …

Perhaps the best assessment of her contributions, however, came from the late T. W. Wilson, a boyhood friend of Billy’s who became a trusted member of his evangelistic team.

“There would have been no Billy Graham as we know him today had it not been for Ruth,” he said. “They have been a great team.” [1]

But I wondered: How would the loss of Ruth be for Mr. Graham himself? What would he himself do to get on with life? In a couple of chapters in his book, Nearing Home (written in 2011 at age 92), he told us. [2]

In part two of this online journal, we ask: when gnawing aloneness and aching grief have become our companions because of the death of someone close, what practical counsel may we follow? Billy’s example is a beacon that illumines the pathway ahead. I’m expressing the basic points in my own words, but I’m using his superb illustrations.

• Why did my dear one have to be the one to die first? Billy told how the epitaph to his wife’s grave had been selected (p 95):

            Long before she became bedridden, she was driving along a highway through a construction site. Carefully following the detours and mile-by-mile cautionary signs, she came to the last one that said, “End of Construction. Thank you for your patience.” She arrived home, chuckling and telling the family about the posting. “When I die,” she said, “I want that engraved on my stone.”

      … we appreciated the truth she conveyed through those few words. Every human being is under construction from conception to death. Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent. At the end of construction—death—we have completed the process.

If God hasn’t taken us, he has a reason. There is a purpose for us no matter how basic. There is a ministry for us no matter how small. Find that purpose and fulfill it. Discover that ministry and do it. God’s the superintendent. We are the workers. “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:1b-2).

• How deeply I still miss my dear one. Ruth died in 2007 and in 2011 Billy penned these lines (p 99):

      As I write this it has been four years since Ruth went home to be with the Lord. I feel her loss more keenly now. Not a day passes that I don’t imagine her walking through my study door or us sitting together on our porch as we did so often, holding hands as the sun set over the mountaintops.

Moping and morbidity are wrong-headed. But a love that rightly cherishes someone dear is good and proper.

• Look ahead. There’s a bright day coming. Along with his sense of loss, Rev. Graham notes (p 100):

Mingled with my grief is a new sense of expectancy—the certain knowledge that someday soon the Lord will come for me also, and before long Ruth and I will be reunited in Heaven. More than ever, I look forward to that day!

In her long separations from her husband, Ruth Bell Graham composed a poem, “Closing Doors,” that also speaks to the separation that death brings:

We live a time secure;

Beloved and loving, sure.

It cannot last for long, then

the goodbyes come again - again.

Like a small death... the closing of a door.

One looks ahead, not back - never back... only before

And Joy will come again... warm and secure.

If only for the now, laughing we endure.

• Resolve, though by fits and starts, to take the way forward. The word “grief” is related to the French word “grève,” meaning a heavy burden. The separation brought by death can make life very difficult and burdensome, and there are no easy answers or simple solutions. But there is a way forward. Billy Graham has done it, and we can walk that same path of faith, hope, and love. Billy told us what he does: I accept my feelings, I look toward the future, I help others, I keep in touch with friends, and I turn to God (pp 101-108).

• Remember to keep first things first. C.S. Lewis explained the futility of not doing so:

The woman who makes a dog the centre of her life loses, in the end, not only her human usefulness and dignity but even the proper pleasure of dog-keeping. The man who makes alcohol his chief good loses not only his job but his palate and all power of enjoying the earlier (and only pleasurable) levels of intoxication.

It is a glorious thing to feel for a moment or two that the whole meaning of the universe is summed up in one woman [or one man]—glorious so long as other duties and pleasures keep tearing you away from her [or him]…. [But, by and by, you will discover this principle:]

every preference of a small good to a great, or partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice is made…. You can’t get second things by putting them first. You get second things only by putting first things first. [3]

And what is of first importance? The crucial thing, Billy Graham said in Nearing Home, is spelled out in the last will and testament of renowned banker, J.P. Morgan, who died in 1913 and whose will was published in the New York Times (p 68). In part, Morgan had written to his children (Times 5/20/1913):

I commit my soul into the hands of my Saviour, in full confidence that ― having redeemed it and washed it in His most precious blood ― He will present it faultless before the throne of my Heavenly Father.

[1] Marshall Shelley, “Ruth Graham Dies at 87,” Christianity Today (web-only), June 14, 2007

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/juneweb-only/124-43.0.html?paging=off

[2] Billy Graham, Nearing Home. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2011.

[3] C.S. Lewis, “First and Second Things,” in God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics (Eerdmans, 1994), p. 280. Cited by http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2010/07/28/the-first-things-first-principle/

When we suffer the loss of someone close - part 1

• Jesus wept

At a veterans event a year ago in Leadville, Colorado, special tribute was paid to a Leadville native killed at age 19 in Fallujah, Iraq. Before the event NPR Saturday Edition very respectfully interviewed his father by phone at the father’s kitchen table. At one point the host asked whether his son had mentioned why he had joined the Marines. The father replied, “Felt he could make a difference. You know, he was killed December 16, 2006. I don’t know. Everybody says it should get easier, but it don’t.” [1]

When through death we have lost someone very dear to us, what word does the Gospel speak to us in our struggles and what practical counsel may be offered?

In part one we ask: when gnawing aloneness and aching grief have become our companions because of the death of someone close, what message does the Gospel bring? In John chapter 11, a grieving woman says to Jesus, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” The surrounding passage gives the Gospel’s four-fold message to people like her who are beset with sorrow due to the death of someone near and dear.

• Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is deeply troubled by death (John 11:33).

In Bethany, two miles from Jerusalem, in the province of Judea, lived a man, Lazarus, and his two sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus had such a close relationship with them that it was as if they were his very close biological brother and sisters. Lazarus became deathly sick and the sisters summoned Jesus. Two days later Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go to Judea.” “No, Rabbi [teacher],” they protested, “you don’t want to do that. The authorities will arrest you and then stone you to death.” Jesus replied in effect, “It’s part of my mission to do this. You’ll see.” When they come near Bethany, Martha goes out to meet them. The group goes on to the two sisters’ house where Mary her sister and other people are grieving. When Mary went outside to meet Jesus, other people followed her, and all came weeping. Seeing the scene, Jesus was “was deeply moved [could also be translated “was deeply angry”] in his spirit and greatly troubled” (John 11:33).

Why was Jesus deeply moved (or angry) and greatly troubled? He had publically taught on the trip he had just made to Jerusalem (John 10:7-10), “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” The mission of Jesus was to bring life to people. That is why he came. The death of people was profoundly troubling and contrary to his mission. When we face our own death or face the death of someone else, he feels our anguish and misgivings.

• Jesus Christ, the Son of God, wept (John 11:35).

Having become deeply moved and greatly troubled, Jesus asked the group outside Mary and Martha’s house, “Where did you bury him?” They replied, “Come and see.” Whereupon the Gospel text tersely states, “Jesus wept.” Again, we might ask, why? The immediate context explains (John 11:5), ”Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” In the context of the entire book, it’s important to remember that (1) the Father and Son are one in nature: Jesus had said, “Before Abraham was, I AM” (John 8:58) and “The Father and I are one” (John 10:30). And yet (2) they are distinct persons: “In your Law it is written that the testimony of two people is true. I am the one who bears witness about myself, and the Father who sent me bears witness about me” (John 8:17-18). As a result, the love of God (who is one) includes that of both the Father and the Son:

      “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son” (John 3:16)

      (Jesus to the disciples:) “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you (John 15:9).

Our sadness – whether we are dealing with the death of someone close to us or facing any other circumstance -- touches Jesus deeply. His compassion moved him to tears.

• Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25).

We need to back up in bit in the story to the point before which Jesus met Mary and the people with her. As Jesus was approaching Bethany, Lazarus had lain dead in the tomb for four days. And Martha, the other sister, had come out to meet him. This is the conversation that took place (John 11:23-27, quote):

Jesus said to her [Martha], “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

Martha then sent a message for Mary to come to meet Jesus and other people followed her. Then everybody went to the tomb of Lazarus. The tomb was a cave and Jesus said, “Roll away the stone.” Martha objected, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” But, at Jesus’ insistence, they took away the stone to the opening of the tomb. After looking heavenward and praying, Jesus yelled, “Lazarus, come out.” Wrapped tightly in his grave clothes, he dead man walked out alive.

This miracle was meant to be a sign: Jesus the Christ (the Messiah), the Son of God, is the resurrection and the life. He not only gives spiritual life now to those who are spiritually dead because of sin, but he shows he has the power to resurrect to eternal life on the last day all those who believe in him. Although we are powerless over sin and death, he has the power to come to the rescue.

• Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died as the one for the many (John 11:50).

As was true for many of the people groups throughout the Mediterranean Sea at the time, the Jewish nation had no independence but was ruled by overlords appointed by Rome, along with Roman soldiers strategically stationed to enforce that rule. The little freedom the Jewish national authorities did have could be threatened by civil unrest. These authorities were aware of Jesus’ miracles. He had just publicly and unmistakably healed a blind man (John 9). Now he had publicly and unmistakably raised a man from the dead (John 11). He was positioned to garner followers who might cause unrest. So the authorities met in council and said (John 11:47-48), “What are we to do? For this man performs many signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” In the give and take of the discussion, Caiaphas, the high priest that year declared (11:49-50), “You know nothing at all. Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish.” The apostle John saw this as a unwitting prophetic utterance. Earlier in the Good Shepherd discourse, Jesus had said (11:14-18) using pastoral images from the everyday lives of his hearers:

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold [the Jewish nation]. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

The upshot: Jesus will voluntarily die, the good shepherd (the one) for the sheep (the many). The sheep are not just from among the Jews but from all nations. After he voluntarily lays down his life, he will take it back again. The Gospel began with the eternal Word of God, who was with God and was God, becoming a human being, Jesus (John 1:1,14). John the Baptist saw him and declared to everyone standing there, “Look, there is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world…. I saw the Spirit descend from heaven like a dove, and he remained on him” (John 1:29,32). Now Jesus will fulfill his mission: die on the cross as a sacrificial lamb, rise again in glory, and ascend to the Father as the risen Lord (John chapters 18-20).

In our loss of a loved one, at first all we may see is death. This was how it was with the disciples of Jesus at the cross. They had envisioned the Christ (the Messiah) as a conquering military hero come to free the Jewish nation from their Roman overlords. They had hoped things would work out differently, but it didn’t happen.

All the disciples saw was crucifixion, but what they did not see in Jesus' crucifixion is that God was submitting himself to and participating in a world where so much fails to work out the way we want or plan or expect. He doesn't stand aloof, accepting the results. God is not a spectator in heaven, untouched by suffering, pain and death. God enters our world of crucifixion and makes it a world of resurrection. [2]

As the risen Lord, he asks you and me the same question which he asked Martha, “Do you believe this?” If we do, we like Martha will answer, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” And we will receive the comfort of the Gospel. (1) Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is troubled by death, including the death of those near and dear to us. (2) As the Eternal Word come as a human being, he feels the grief which we ourselves feel. (3) As the Christ (the Messiah), the Son of God, he himself is the resurrection and the life. (4) He died on the cross as the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world and who has been anointed with the Spirit. He rose again and was glorified in heavenly session with the Father. He now invites us to believe the Gospel and to trust in him for spiritual life and peace and joy in the present age and for eternal life and peace and joy in the age to come. At the last day there will be a resurrection and believers of all ages will be united forever in the presence of the living God – Father, Son, and Spirit.

[1] “Colorado Event Honors Iraq War Hero,” NPR Saturday Edition, August 31, 2013. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=217511142

[2] Scott Carney, “Death, Resurrection, and Carlton Fisk's World Series Home Run,” Christianity Today (web), August 5, 2014. http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/august-web-only/death-resurrection-and-carlton-fisks-world-series-homerun.html